His wife was traveling so he became a 'single dad for eight days'—he immediately got a reality check of mental load

Being a mom may seem like an easy task from a third-person perspective. However, it takes a lot more than one can imagine. Chores and loads go beyond laundry, cooking and cleaning. There is a mental load many moms tackle while simultaneously getting these chores done tirelessly. A dad named Cedric Thompson Jr.–who goes by @ced on Instagram–revealed that when his wife was away for eight days, he became a “single dad.” Looking after his children at home and doing everything his wife did, he realized what the mental load is and how distressing it can be for mums. 

“I’ve been a single dad for eight days because my wife is in the Philippines and I had no idea it was this tough,” the dad said. Sharing glimpses of himself doing all the chores, from laundry to doctor appointments and more, he dwelled on a perspective he had learned. “I was prepared for the cleaning, the lodging back and forth, the unexpected sickness, the feeding and the sleeping. But one thing I was not prepared for was the mental load,” Thompson Jr. confessed. He added that simply the idea of constantly spiraling in thought about “the things that haven’t been done, the things that need to be done,” and so on is so “draining.” “I don’t even have the energy to take care of myself at all,” he remarked. 

It took the dad 8 days of solo parenting to truly understand how his wife felt and what she meant by “mental load.” “I have so much respect for my wife after this,” he added. Putting himself in his wife's shoes helped open his eyes and become more empathetic and understanding about parenthood. “It has made me ask myself, ‘What more can I be doing?’ ‘What has been going on in front of me that I haven’t been seeing?’ ‘How can I step up the way my wife needs me to instead of doing things I think are helping?’” the dad honestly reflected. He agreed that “mental load” is exhaustive and not restricted to one aspect.

He acknowledged that though he cannot completely take away the strain, he can “make it lighter.” In his caption, Thompson Jr. added, “Eight days of solo parenting taught me more about mental load than I ever imagined. The endless planning, remembering and organizing is exhausting in ways I never understood before. The most profound lessons come when we walk in someone else’s shoes, even if just for a little while.” Many moms resonated with this exhaustion and thanked the dad for being upfront and spreading awareness about it. @jmonetsstudio wrote, “A lot of men don’t see everything a wife does daily for the family.”

@kym_kirstymartins added, “If only all dads had this perspective.” @eliancage remarked, “This type of acknowledgment is refreshing. How beautiful!” @alyaaoreo said, “Not many husbands can acknowledge this, let alone say it out loud. So, thank you.” @tacarracomedy noted, “I appreciate this man verbalizing that he now understands moms.” @the_dad_doula confessed, “I hear you 100%! I did 11 days when our son was 11 months old—the hardest 11 days of my last 10 years, hands down.” @huckleberrycare remarked, “Love this! The mental load is real.”

You can follow Cedric Thompson Jr. (@ced) on Instagram for more content on fatherhood and parenting.