Man complains about stay-at-home wife asking for his help with parenting, gets a reality check
Many people dismiss stay-at-home parents assuming their work isn't demanding. However, this role involves a constant stream of exhausting responsibilities. A dad, who goes by u/Visual_Witness8051, shared a post on Reddit revealing that his wife was a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) taking care of their three kids. When she expressed that he wasn't contributing enough around the house and with the kids, the husband argued that he was already doing enough by working a job. However, he quickly got a reality check from people on the internet.
The man noted that his wife had to additionally look after her grandmother who had dementia and visit her thrice a week. “My typical schedule is 1 pm-10 pm with a one-hour lunch if I choose to take it,” he added. The dad mentioned that though work begins at 1 pm for him, he takes 45 minutes to travel to work. However, he explained that he leaves around 8.30 am from home so he can “grab a bite and some coffee” and “send some emails.” After work, he is exhausted and wants some time out and goes to the gym for a bit. With this schedule, he is home only by 12 or later. His wife complained that he needed to at least help her out in the mornings since his working hours started late.
The mom suggested that her husband leave when it’s closer to noon so he can spend the earlier hours helping with a few chores or spending time with his kids. “She's insisting my routine isn't all that important and I'm making her feel like a single mom. From my perspective, I enjoy my routine, I get some peace and quiet and it's a nice way for me to prepare for and end my day,” the dad argued. He disregarded the fact that the mom was asking for his presence and active effort with the family more than anything else. “I've offered to ask my sister or mom to come over and help her in the mornings a day or two a week but she rejected that idea. I feel like I've offered a compromise of sorts but Lara tells me I haven't,” he noted.
While he was wondering whether he was wrong, people immediately pointed out why it was his fault. u/ kharmatika said, “You are leaving the house at 8 am and then getting back at midnight? Not only are you abandoning your wife with a house full of child and elderly care but you're being a terrible husband by failing to sit down with your wife and kids every day and being part of their lives.” u/DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA added, “You leave for work 4 hours before you have to come in. You’re not being a father or a husband. Let the mom take a break.”
u/fernsworldgirl431 pointed out, “No kidding. Caregiver burnout is real. His wife isn't getting any breaks.” u/DinaFelice questioned, “When does she get her daily dose of peace and quiet? How much time does she get to be responsibility-free to get into a routine she enjoys?” u/GuyfromLI747 said, “You need your time? How about your wife needing her time too?”
