Man questioned his date’s shoes because she looked taller than him — his comment about her physique after she took off her sweater made her walk away
A person's appearance may be one of the first things someone notices, but that doesn't mean it needs to become the focus of a first-date conversation. Content creator Justy experienced this after agreeing to meet a man who had approached her and asked for her number. They exchanged messages and arranged to have dinner together that evening. However, the meeting took an uncomfortable turn before they had even ordered. Justy shared the experience in an Instagram video posted on October 16, 2026, under the handle @we.are.losing.it, explaining why she decided to walk away.
When Justy met her date outside the restaurant, his first comment was not a compliment. Instead, he pointed out that she looked taller than he remembered. She explained that she was wearing wedge heels, but he questioned whether they were really necessary. Although the remark bothered her, she decided to give him another chance, thinking he might simply be nervous. Once they were seated, she removed her sweater, and he made another comment about her appearance. He told her, "Oh, wow, you're muscular," before asking, "Is that the look you're going for?" Justy said she was taken aback by the question and decided she had heard enough.
Looking back, Justy admitted that she should have left after the first remark but wanted to avoid making a quick judgment. She explained, "Maybe he just didn't mean it the way that it came off." However, she also reflected on that decision, adding, "The benefit of the doubt has never benefited me." She eventually stood up without saying anything and walked out of the restaurant. After returning home, she spent the evening watching Netflix in her pajamas. When she discussed the experience with friends, their reactions were different. Her older friends suggested that men may feel uncomfortable dating taller women, while her younger friends supported her decision. Justy questioned why such behavior should be justified.
Her experience also reflects a wider issue surrounding unsolicited comments about women's appearances. A US survey of 997 Americans conducted by StyleSeat found that 75% had experienced hurtful remarks about their appearance that left them feeling self-conscious. The findings highlight how remarks about someone's physical features can affect their confidence. Justy also explained in her caption that she had spent years working on herself "physically, mentally, and emotionally" and did not want to sit through a meal with someone who questioned her body or clothing. She added, "I'm certainly not going to make myself smaller, literally or figuratively, to make a man feel more comfortable." Her words made it clear that the comments were not something she was willing to overlook.
Justy further reflected on how she might have handled the situation when she was younger. She said that an earlier version of herself would probably have laughed off the remarks, made excuses for her date, or stayed through dinner simply to avoid being rude. This time, however, she chose not to do that. She also acknowledged that she was not everyone's cup of tea and was comfortable with that, but did not believe anyone had the right to make her feel that she should apologize for being herself.
For more dating stories, follow @we.are.losing.it on Instagram.