Former end-of-life carer reveals the no. 1 regret people have before dying—it's not what you think
If you’ve ever been by a person’s side during their last moments, the conversation can get heartbreaking. In the fleeting moments, they reflect on some of the most profound aspects of life and also highlight what they regret doing or not doing. Speaking with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee on his podcast, Bronnie Ware, a former end-of-life carer, revealed that people nearing the end of their lives often have one regret above all others. While it revolves around how they’ve spent their lives, it’s not just about having lived life to the fullest; it’s something more introspective, more profound. It’s a statement that makes a person want to look within and reconsider what living means.
Ware has been an end-of-life carer for eight long years and has seen it all during her career. She is an internationally acclaimed speaker and author of the bestselling memoir, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.” Speaking with the podcaster, she revealed the most common regret most people have. Dr. Chatterjee noted that while on their deathbeds, people tend to unpack some reflective truths that are worth thinking about. He added that looking back on these statements can cause one to alter how they live every single aspect of life, be it work, relationships, mindsets, values and more.
Ware couldn’t help but agree. Looking back on her eight years of experience, the woman revealed that people do worry about work, friends, happiness and so on. However, there is one regret that hits the nail on the head. “The most common regret during those eight years was, ‘I wish I'd lived a life true to myself,’” Ware shared. Calling it a “powerful” one, the duo noted how the phrase doesn’t refer to having lived to the fullest or having lived the best but just a life “true to myself.” As they deconstructed this regret, they realized that the other top remorseful feelings of having worked less, focused on relationships more or even living a happy life, often circle back to this single thought.
“If you are honoring that first one and living a life true to yourself, you are going to prioritize work-life balance. You're not going to work as hard, you're going to do things that make you happy, like staying in touch with your friends,” the carer noted. She explained that simply “honoring” this first pointer can help ease the rest of the regrets dying people have. A lot more falls into place once a person comes to terms with the idea of living a life they want. Ware further shared how different phases of our lives go into living out different societal expectations.
Right from studying well, landing a career, getting a relationship, having kids and so on, the bar is constantly rising and if we only stopped and pondered what it is that we’re meant to do, maybe a lot would seem better and clearer. Dr. Chatterjee beautifully shared his perspective, “Is something a choice worth making if it means you have to sacrifice time with your loved ones? Is it worth pushing extra hard for the promotion that may bring you more money but also more stress and more time away from home? These are decisions that I think we all need to wrestle with from time to time if we are truly going to be living a contented and intentional life.”
You can follow Dr. Rangan Chatterjee on YouTube for more content on lifestyle, insights and reflections.
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