Wife lost her husband untimely in a crash—finds peace in one last three-word message from his final call to her
Sometimes a love story isn’t remembered for how long it lasted, but for the way it held two people together, right up until the very last moment. For Natalie and Raymond (Ray) McCarter Jr., their marriage was all love, companionship and simple, everyday tenderness. And in the end, it was sealed by three final words that would carry Natalie through an unthinkable loss. Just hours before tragedy struck, Natalie and Ray were talking on the phone and discussing future plans, per Newsweek.
They were talking, the way couples do when they’re excited about life together. Their phone call stretched beyond eight minutes, full of anticipation for their upcoming anniversary, thoughts of renewing their vows and dreams they still believed they would live together. As always, they ended the conversation the way they always had: “I love you.” Eight minutes later, Ray was gone. Just like that.
Ray, 33, passed away on February 16, 2019, when a drunk driver going the wrong way crashed into him head-on on his way home. Globally, about 1.35 million people are killed or disabled in road crashes each year and approximately 3,700 people lose their lives every day. In the U.S. alone, car accidents caused 40,000 deaths and over 2.1 million emergency room visits in 2020, according to Health Science Reports.
Natalie, then 36, said one decision by another person ended “an entire world” for their family. That last exchange, the last "I love you" became her anchor, her support. “I hold onto that,” she shared. “I’m grateful that our final exchange was full of love and full of life we still believed we had ahead of us.” Only seven weeks earlier, their home was a home to laughter, love and warmth. The couple had hosted Christmas, bringing both sides of the family under one roof. She recorded Ray with their children, Raina and Cole, in a video later shared on Instagram (@natneverwants). Now, she looks back at that day as a gift.
Ray wasn’t just a husband; he was the calm center of their world. They met in college at George Mason University. Over 11 years of marriage, Natalie grew to love him as “a walking green flag," she shared while speaking to the outlet. He played on the floor with their kids, handled bedtime, joined in games and showed up consistently in a hundred small ways that built a life. Life after the accident forced Natalie into survival mode. Overnight, she was a mother on her own, trying to stay steady for the two little ones who still needed her every moment. She couldn’t work. Rest became impossible. Eventually, she let go of the home they had once imagined filling with shared memories. Losing Ray felt like losing a part of herself she could never replace.
Even now, she and her children move ahead one day at a time, holding space for grief, love and the memories that remain. For Natalie, continuing to live fully is a way of honoring him. Her message to others comes with clarity born from loss: say what matters, be there for each other, capture moments and never assume there will always be more time. “I share our story not to bring sadness, but to bring awareness," Natalie shared. "Because if our pain can spare another family from living it, then Ray’s legacy becomes a light instead of just a loss.”