Gay man confused by former bully's unexpected apology 20 years later—then a personal admission in text stunned him
It is hard to understand someone without putting ourselves in their shoes. On the contrary, the heartless option is unfortunately the easier one — to bully and mistreat them. A man named Misha Brown (@yourbestiemisha) revealed that he was bullied by fellow students around 20 years ago, PEOPLE revealed. Their words and actions left a painful scar and trauma and two decades later, one of the bullies texted him with an apology. While it was hard to accept it, the man was stunned to find a shocking admission along with the message that changed his mindset.
Being gay brought a lot of bullying and insults to the then-little child and unfortunately, it “shaped the entire experience of growing up.” Right from the way he stood to the way he spoke, everything was affected due to the treatment Brown received. “It made me perform, in a way, because the one space I excelled in was as a performer. Acceptance became the only currency I craved and it made me put a lot of pressure on myself,” he explained. 20 years after the damage, the bully texted him. When the man first saw the message with his bully’s name, he had no idea what to expect.
“I couldn’t think of a single reason as to why he’d reach out. But there it was and I opened it,” he said. The message immediately began with an apology. He emphasized how he had been a “jerk” to Brown in school. The man went on to commend Brown’s confidence and the inspiration he has become, giving others the strength to be themselves. It was surprising that nearly two decades later, there was what seemed like a heartfelt apology, indicating a changed and renewed heart. The man then revealed that his apology stemmed from a personal experience. His 15-year-old son had come out as a gay person and the dad then understood how overwhelming it can be without support.
“Man, all I thought about when he told me that was how I hoped people were nicer to him than I was to you,” the man confessed. He added that this experience pushed him to rethink his opinions and perspectives. He added that he was now “proud” of his son and being who he truly is. While Brown was taken aback, he couldn’t help but admire the owning up. He admitted that he was moved to tears after reading the text. “I cried for me, the little boy who desperately cried in his mom’s arms, begging not to be gay. I cried for his son, who gets to have a dad like mine, who loves their kid no matter what. And I cried because I am a chronically optimistic person and this is proof that there is goodness in people, even if they don’t always show it,” he remarked.
While many people had horrible things to say to the dad, Brown understood where he was coming from and was glad to have received the apology. Sharing why he accepted it, he said, “We can’t change other people or will them to give us retribution, but we can control how we show up for ourselves. I’m grateful that I got this moment but I’m more lucky that I am in a place to accept it.” His approach to the situation transformed the outlook of others as well, urging them to look to the positives just like Brown did.
You can follow Misha Brown (@yourbestiemisha) on TikTok for more content on confidence, lifestyle and more.