Husband shares 8 super relatable things he learned only after becoming a dad and more people need to see this

Parenting is full of unexpected lessons, and many new fathers find themselves figuring out things they never saw coming. One dad, Kier Gaines, shared eight things he had no clue about before becoming a father on his Instagram page, @kiergaines, and his honest reflections are something more people need to hear. In the caption, he wrote, "Before starting a family, I had no idea that..." before adding the list of realizations. One of the biggest surprises for him was how often he’d have to step in to give his wife a break from the kids.

"I don't care how involved you are, kids want mommy and boundaries are constantly having to be enforced," Gaines wrote. In the video he posted, Gaines is seen talking to his children, asking them not to disturb their mother. He then pointed out another realization, "I’d have to save my wife from needlessly taking on responsibilities when she legit does not have to," which he also showed in the video. He reminded his wife to take a break when she insisted on organizing the fridge. The reality of exhaustion is another hard truth he didn’t expect. "The exhaustion that I felt in college was just level 10 of [infinity]. This is another level," he wrote. The next thing he learned in detail was the constant cleaning, "You spend endless hours cleaning only for it to look that way again in 6 hours. 3 hours if they’re home all day."

The 5th hard-hitting truth Gaines realized was the staggering cost of raising children, simply writing, "How… Much… Money… It… Costs!" But amidst all the challenges, Gaines acknowledged one lesson that completely changed the way he approached his role as a father and husband, "'Go take a break' is a love language." He then shared the greatest reward of parenthood, "How much joy fills your house with all of the different personalities bouncing off of one another." Finally, Gaines circled back to one of the most important lessons he's learned, "I’d appreciate my partner not fighting me when I advise her to take a break. Makes it a more comfortable place to share perspective candidly." 

He jokingly added points 9 and 10 and redirected them to point 5 - the increasing costs of raising children. Gaines’ reflections struck a chord with many parents. The comment section was flooded with messages of appreciation, with people celebrating his role as both a husband and a present father. @justmegm3 wrote, "Who raised this man? This is so thoughtful man." @spamthelikebutton emphasized the importance of prioritizing the marriage within parenting, commenting, "When she's your wife before she's a mother." 

@the.parkingspottt added, "I love seeing real family men instead of just 'husbands'. Whoever raised you should be the proudest ever." @dr.suggs called him a role model for modern fathers, writing, "Thank you! Husband and Dad of the Year! Such a timely example for families." @lauracaruso.therapy praised him, saying, "I can’t even begin to explain how much this post means to me (and to a lot of women)." For some, the list shared was too relatable. @whocaree_ said, "'Go take a break is a love language.' You hit me hard dude." @dpeckham9 commented, "A very thoughtful and touching acknowledgment that being a parent is real WORK!" 

You can follow Kier Gaines (@kiergaines) on Instagram for more parenting and relationship content.