Relationship expert blamed Oprah Winfrey’s ’90s message for millennials cutting off family — and she responded
Oprah Winfrey has long influenced how people think about personal growth and family life. In recent weeks, her name returned to public debate after a discussion around family estrangement gained attention. As reported by Fox News on December 12, 2025, the conversation grew after a relationship coach questioned Oprah’s past influence on how people handle family conflict. The discussion gained momentum after an Instagram post shared on November 27, 2025, pushed the topic into wider public view. It did not immediately lay blame, but clearly raised questions about responsibility and impact.
The main story unfolded when Oprah spoke on her podcast about the rise in family estrangement across the country. She referred to a Cornell University study showing that nearly one-third of Americans are estranged from at least one family member. Oprah said adult children are increasingly choosing to go “no-contact” with parents, siblings, or even entire family systems. She described the situation as a “silent epidemic” and noted how painful it can feel during holidays, when family connection is often expected.
Relationship coach Tania Khazaal strongly disagreed with how the issue was framed. In her viral Instagram video and caption, she linked today’s estrangement trend back to the 1990s, saying Oprah’s messaging during that era shaped millennial thinking. Khazaal said millennials, who grew up watching Oprah, are now the leading group cutting off family members. She stated, “Now Oprah is shocked by the aftermath of estrangement, after being one of the biggest voices pushing it for decades.” In her caption, Khazaal wrote that the cutoff culture was once “praised, normalized, encouraged,” and asked, “Why now, Oprah? Why only after the damage is undeniable?” She added that estrangement is “real families, real grief,” and warned of parents “dying without hearing their child’s voice.” She expressed, "Estrangement isn't entertainment or a trending conversation piece."
Oprah reportedly responded in the comments, writing she was “happy to have a conversation,” but outside of social media. The message was later deleted after backlash. Khazaal told the outlet she would still welcome that discussion, saying the family unit is “the most sacred structure we have.” Mental health experts offered a broader context. Psychologist Joshua Coleman said values have shifted from “honor thy mother and thy father” to personal happiness, political belief, mental health, personal growth, and identity. Social worker Jillian Amodio pointed out that celebrities like Oprah Winfrey have helped bring these conversations into the public eye, and while estrangement was once a private matter, it is now discussed more openly.
Susan Foosness, a North Carolina-based clinical director of patient programs at Rula Health, expressed that “no family is perfect” and healing is possible, adding that families can rebuild stronger connections by working with a mental health professional to learn healthier ways to resolve conflict, improve overall communication, and restore trust and empathy through meaningful time together. Khazaal agreed, adding, "Parents need to learn how to listen without slipping into justification, and children need help speaking about their pain without defaulting to blame or avoidance."
For more relationship-related content, follow @taniakhazaal on Instagram.
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